Boy for Sale

For sale: 1 boy, age 2 and 11/12ths. As is. Will deliver.
Very cute and sweet. Enjoys getting into markers and drawing on furniture, clothing, slippers, hardcover books, bedding, doors, laptop, and carpet in parent's room - at 11:30pm while you doze downstairs.
Follows up the previously mentioned activity with climbing onto the bathroom counter and getting into lotions and toothpaste.
No returns or refunds. Make offer.